http://stepmomsos.com/badmouthing-and-what-to-do-about-it/2010/07/ Step By Step Family Success Tue, 01 May 2012 18:28:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 http://stepmomsos.com/badmouthing-and-what-to-do-about-it/2010/07/comment-page-1/#comment-5540 So fed up Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:11:26 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=568#comment-5540 I am getting this and have been getting this "Badmouthing" from my now fiance's ex-wife since we started dating. In the beginning (it's been about a year and a half now), the kids loved me (they are 6 and 8), now they are taking everything she says to heart and HATE me. They actually write it down on paper now, back talk to me, and tell us they hate coming to our house because I'm there. We've stepped up discipline for them, but in such a different way, but they hate me for it. For example, at their mom's, if they act out or misbehave they get their butt smacked and time out. At our house, we've created a check mark system. After 3 check marks they lose either a favorite toy or snack time... or if it's really bad they lose the activity we have planned for the day. They actually have told us they hate the check marks worse and hate me for making them take baths right, pick up their rooms, and the check mark system. The 6 year old said she doesn't want me around anymore because when mommy and daddy fight it's always about me not matter what it is mommy hates me. And I try to explain to her that they aren't fighting about me, buts he says after her dad leaves she still bad mouthes me and says that I make him do these things to her. She left him 5 years before I came along and was already re-married for 4 years. She just lost that husband because he was using her for a green card, and now already has a new boyfriend and he's already living with her and the kids. She has blamed her latest relationship fail on me and my fiance because she said I don't allow them to be friends and it stressed her out. I try to do everything for the kids, we don't bad mouth we try to explain mommy is going through hard times and needs both kids to be good for her. And I always help them do project and crafts for her call her when they need to.... But I'm always the bad person and she told the kids I'm a gold digger and only want daddy for his money. I don't know how to win these kids back. They want nothing to do with me. I am getting this and have been getting this “Badmouthing” from my now fiance’s ex-wife since we started dating. In the beginning (it’s been about a year and a half now), the kids loved me (they are 6 and 8), now they are taking everything she says to heart and HATE me. They actually write it down on paper now, back talk to me, and tell us they hate coming to our house because I’m there. We’ve stepped up discipline for them, but in such a different way, but they hate me for it. For example, at their mom’s, if they act out or misbehave they get their butt smacked and time out. At our house, we’ve created a check mark system. After 3 check marks they lose either a favorite toy or snack time… or if it’s really bad they lose the activity we have planned for the day. They actually have told us they hate the check marks worse and hate me for making them take baths right, pick up their rooms, and the check mark system. The 6 year old said she doesn’t want me around anymore because when mommy and daddy fight it’s always about me not matter what it is mommy hates me. And I try to explain to her that they aren’t fighting about me, buts he says after her dad leaves she still bad mouthes me and says that I make him do these things to her. She left him 5 years before I came along and was already re-married for 4 years. She just lost that husband because he was using her for a green card, and now already has a new boyfriend and he’s already living with her and the kids. She has blamed her latest relationship fail on me and my fiance because she said I don’t allow them to be friends and it stressed her out. I try to do everything for the kids, we don’t bad mouth we try to explain mommy is going through hard times and needs both kids to be good for her. And I always help them do project and crafts for her call her when they need to…. But I’m always the bad person and she told the kids I’m a gold digger and only want daddy for his money. I don’t know how to win these kids back. They want nothing to do with me.

]]> http://stepmomsos.com/badmouthing-and-what-to-do-about-it/2010/07/comment-page-1/#comment-4502 Zac Fri, 30 Dec 2011 04:36:13 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=568#comment-4502 How much more "subtle" than rejecting and alienating the child's other parent can you get? Divorce itself is unspoken "bad mouthing". Unless it is agreed on by both parties, after thorough and honest attempts at counselling, it is supremely selfish....and even if agreed upon, shows a lack of responsibility. The trend in society towards self-gratification and lack of cooperation and compassion reflected in the spiralling divorce rate is also reflected in phenomena like the GFC, credit addiction, increases in crime and other social problems. How much more “subtle” than rejecting and alienating the child’s other parent can you get? Divorce itself is unspoken “bad mouthing”. Unless it is agreed on by both parties, after thorough and honest attempts at counselling, it is supremely selfish….and even if agreed upon, shows a lack of responsibility. The trend in society towards self-gratification and lack of cooperation and compassion reflected in the spiralling divorce rate is also reflected in phenomena like the GFC, credit addiction, increases in crime and other social problems.

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