Comments for stepmomsos.com

Comment on Your Husband’s Ex-Wife by Wanda

Wanda — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 17:55:58 +0000

Did I not mention also ,that my brother n law is married to her sister . In which the last year ,out of my almost 6 marriage ,my sister n law and I have become very best friends.

Comment on Your Husband’s Ex-Wife by Wanda

Wanda — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 17:44:16 +0000

It’s complicated ! My husband and I have been married almost 5 years , in those 5 years , his ex has caused much drama that is uncalled for. For instance , the second she found out ,he was seeing someone she called him every night when we were together; although she up and left him for another man. She would call asking my bra size and so on. Then one day while I was at work coming in from a break , my husband ,his friend and I were almost in the door and she comes flying up to us and says ” What no kiss”? With their adult children and sons girlfriend with her. Their children seemed embarrassed . I kept my cool and ignored the situation ,because the kids . Not long after that ,she left a message on our phone saying ” We have been married 30 years and now I live around ,the corner and you can’t come talk to me, maybe because you have to ask Wanda, that’s just stupid”! I could be here all day with the crazy things she has done. So my husband and I choose not to join in on birthdays around her and apparently we are the problem and it’s really not fair, that we should. She feels they should talk about the children . I really don’t have a problem with that , but their 3 children are in their 20′s ,not exactly children . The very weird thing is she finally discovered ,what a wonderful man he is after 30 years of marriage. Maybe she should have thought about that ,before she had an affair with her father n law and their last 2 children were not his , of course he found that out 19 years to late. Now their children treat us as though we were the cheating ones.

Comment on Stepfathers and Stepsons – Making it Work by Justin

Justin — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 22:02:14 +0000

I live with a 16 year old who hasn’t had his father in his life since very young, his mother spent most of his life in addiction with addicts. This is especially hard as we are in recovery and been together for a year but had used and drank together before we quit. However her son is extremely difficult he doesn’t come home regularly hardly ever goes to school…. Has no chores around the house…. I feel like this kid is going to ruin his life and his mom will stand by and let him… She enables him quit a bit I try not to say things for when I do it usually ends up in a fight. I have two kids with an ex wife and she has done a fantastic job with them. My 15 year old son gets a’S and b’s for grades and might have a job this summer… My step son doesn’t even want to work…. I think I might have to leave this relationship for fear I am making every one miserable!!!

Comment on Your Ex-Husband’s Wife: The Stepmom by indowoman24

indowoman24 — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 09:10:56 +0000

Found your website after a random google search, great article you’ve got here.Just wondering do you have any one article regarding the ex using your husband last name? Hopefully you could shed me some light! I wrote about it in my blog : http://indowoman24.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/keeping-my-last-name/
Comment or give me some insights if you want!
Thanks!

Comment on The Stepmom Stepdaughter Relationship by Diane Patterson

Diane Patterson — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 16:03:20 +0000

I have 2 adult step daughters & have been their step mom for 20yrs…The youngest step daughter which is 28 has never liked me but I still tried in every way..She had 3 kids the youngest she gave to her boyfriends mama & the other 2 social services took them 3yrs ago…We all knew this was going to happen..My husband & I talked about it & both decided we couldn’t raise anymore kids.. So the court date came & my husband went to the hearing..Then I get a phone call saying we have custody of the kids..Between us we had 5 all from previous marriages..A year before that I was going to take custody of my granddaughter from my daughter but husband said no he wasn’t raising anymore…Just thank God she got her self together & still has her daughter….I am 48yrs old & we have had them for 3yrs..My health is getting bad & I told my husband I couldn’t do it anymore & he told me If I couldn’t do it there was the door…Their mother has done nothing to get them back has only paid child support 3 times the whole time we’ve had them..She does nothing to help out..My thing is he wouldn’t let me take my granddaughter but I am expected to raise his daughters kids..If I can’t my marriage his over & I just don’t know what to do …Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Comment on The Stepmom Stepdaughter Relationship by Sad Step Mom

Sad Step Mom — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 06:00:03 +0000

My situation is a little different than what I have read. I was friends with my husband for many years. I knew his ex wife and daughter. His daughter was 5 years old when i first met her and she took a liking to me immediately I also felt a strong connection to her. I spent a lot of time with her and we did a lot of fun things together. I was also married but in a strained relationship. In the past i only saw my husband as my best friend, there was no physical attraction.. just friendship. Somewhere down the line the feelings changed, they began to feel like a crush. I still ignored it. Staying great friends and enjoying time with his family mostly his adorable little girl. Then when she was 10 years old her parents started to have serious problems. He confided in me that he was leaving his wife, I tried to talk him out of it. He was done!! He was moving out, I remember feeling terrified that he would find someone new. This confused the heck out of me and then it hit me.. OMG i’m in love with him. I did express my feelings to him which i regret at times. It was too soon.
Now we are married and his daughter is 13 and does not like me. I keep trying to get the same love and respect that I once had from her, she liked me up until her parents divorced. I suspect she thinks I caused the break up, I didn’t I’m actually the rebound girl. He is still married to me which i’m surprised by because usually the rebound girl is just the rebound girl. Anyway she is now very close to her mother in the past when they were still a couple she was not close to her mom it was all about Daddy. And any woman that showed her affection. In a way I’m glad she is close to her mom now but I wish she could find a little room in her heart to love me. I still love her and remember that little girl who adored me. She claims to not remember the things we did in the past, it’s like she’s blocked them out. All I want is peace and for mutual respect. I feel like the evil step mother. She is verbally harsh with me and spending time with her is difficult. I never come between her and her Father in fact I have sent them on trips alone as well as the three of us, i’ve tried everything.. even Disney LOL she did like disney and let me spend money on her and then the next day she was back to ridiculing me. I’m going to step back. I will always care for her but I can’t give all of me anymore, it’s just too painful. I’m open to all advice. Thanks

Comment on Your Husband’s Ex-Wife by angie

angie — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 19:47:41 +0000

I would like to start by saying every case is different, and every person is different. I have been with my husband for nearly 6 years, and my SS is 7 years old. I have never had a good relationship with the BM due to her always getting too involved, and feeding her son crap to make him not want to come to our place. My ss and i are very very close. he calls me mom, and we do everything together. My husband and his ex have joint phys and leg custody, so we are very very involved with school, and daily routine. My husband and i also have a 4 year old, and she is very close with her brother. The mom has been in NUMEROUS relationships, and moves 1 to 2 times a year, introducing ss to these men promising a step father. Recently she brought it up that she wants to move with my ss over 4 hours away, but promises that our “schedule” will not be interrupted too much, that she will drive him to us every thursday night and then pick him up sunday nights to go back up “north”. I am not a mathmatician but that does not equal 50%? not to mention we LOVE the daily routines we have! having breakfast, doing homework, packing lunches, etc.
I always make an effort, and am very nice to BM. I text her when i get new medical cards (as i am the insurance carrier) and text her when it concerns my SS. This is because my husband is a business owner of multiple businesses and sometimes is gone from 4am to 7pm. I just want her to respect me. she never returns my calls or text messages, but sometimes responds to my husbands phone…well that doesn’t do me any good when i need an answer about where i need to pick him up or drop him off does it? I always find myself saying that if i werent married to her ex husband i could see us being friends. we have alot of common interests but am flabergasted about how she can be so blatantly disrespectful to me! i need advice! Should i attempt to talk to her about it and tell her how i feel or just leave well enough alone and just keep doing what i am doing? heeelllpppp!

Comment on Stepfathers and Stepdaughters – Making it Work by John

John — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 19:06:53 +0000

This article and comments really hit a cord.

Bit of background. I have three stepdaughters, 23, 17/17. I have been with my wife for 5 years now. My wife and I have a

fantastic relationship and the only thing we fight about is the girls propensity to get their way no matter what. Their

father has caused nothing but problems with wife and I to the point of the police being involved for harrassment and uses

the kids constantly to prove how “he has won”.

I will address points and lessons I have learned and not learned in relationship with my stepdaughters.

1. The 23 is an adult child that has not grown up one day since I met her 5 years ago. She is SUPER materialistic to the

point where if she actually had to pay her own bills, would not last a month. The relationship with her worked out ok

until one day I stood my ground and told her we were not paying for anything for her anymore…just the basics and her

schooling and she would have to get a job and pay for her own car, insurance and twenty thousand things she buys a week.

So she decided to move to her dads at age 21 until she was done school. She finishes school and her dad takes her to co-

sign for a brand new car 5 seconds out of college and since then CONSTANTLY tries to undermind my wife and my relationship

with the other two stepdaughters. For years she played one parent against the other to get her way and for some reason

still tries to play that game despite my wife and I not allowing it anymore. She has gone through about 5 boyfriends that

have all dumped her due to her materialistic nature and each time they dump her, they end up coming to me wondering why I

didn’t warn them in the beginning. OK, so basically the relationship with this one to me is a write-off. I would not want

to know such a materialistic, world revolves around me type of person if she was not my stepdaughter, so I do not see why

I would further support those traits in her. She continues to live at her fathers full-time.

2. The twins are very opposite to each other and have grown up tremendously just in the past two years that my wife and I

have put our feet down about the “dad would let us do that or buy that” game. Once that was overcome and my wife has it in

her head that they are not going to suddenly move out the way the other girl did, we are actually pretty settled. They

have their own little games, each one different than the other, but over-all once that “dad would let us do it” dynamic

was removed, it removed most arguments. However, lately the oldest has been playing her games again trying to make it seem

as if her dad told her to come get the girls early or whatever, and my wife totally put a stop to her. Really bad blood

right now but we will not have our authority underminded and my wife knows in the future, maybe she will change. But not

till her dad makes her grow up. Everyone else around her has tried to get her to do that except the one person that should.

3. 95% of the problems that occured earlier in the relationship were problems of the girls trying to use the bad blood

between their father and us as a way to get their way. I can just about set my watch to the games. The one younger one

will start to make fun of my wife and then suddenly say something that is just absolutely mean and untrue. My wife used to

feel guilty and then try to go buy her something to make up for it but no way now.

4. Morals and so forth between the two houses are pretty much opposite and to this day creates some serious issues. One is

my wife and my belief, if they want something, go out and make the money and buy it. But their thinking is, they just have

to wait till they go over to their dads to get their love bought (which they told me one day is the way he looks at

“love”). But I think the two younger ones see where that moral has gotten the oldest and are clueing in. The other moral is how they interact with people. My wife and I both believe you should honer other people and his

belief is “take what you want and don’t appologize”. That one has caused the most friction between me and the

stepdaughters….which I will explain in #5. It will answer a lot of the women’s questions I see here.

5. Many women have asked how do I stop this from happening? My husband and stepdaughter both will not back down and I wont

support that…i just want to hug her. This is EXACTLY the problem. My biggest button is if the girls want something, ask,

don’t take or “tell us!” Drives me up the wall when they do that. It is totally disrepectful and THAT is the issue. It

means my stepdaughters do not have the same respect (more fear) level for me and my wife as they do for their biological father. I’m sorry but I will never back down from that and never should have to. This is my wife and my home, not theirs. To this day, none of them will bring their boyfriends to meet their father cause they are afraid he will do something to them. Yet they do not think twice about bringing them here. I don’t know if its a man thing but if you do not respect my authority in my own home…the answer to whatever it is they want is NO! If as a wife you cannot backup that most important aspect to your stepdaughter’s relationship with your man….ITS ALL GONE! It’s not a matter of who backs down, their should be respect enough in my house to “ask” not just “take”. What the stepdaughter does not realize is the stepfather does not have to do a damn thing for her, doesnt have to protect her, doesnt have to financially help her, nothing….but he does without reward and their should be a level of respect for that help. You can put all the mumbo jumbo phsyc talk into that you want but that is probably 95% of the problems with this dynamic. Lack of respect or equal respect for the stepfather’s authority as their bio father’s authority. Pretty simple actually.

Comment on Your Husband’s Ex-Wife by Kimberly

Kimberly — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 02:48:04 +0000

Hello, I have been married to my husband for 3 years and have assumed the role as step mom to his two young daughters and we also have a daughter of our own. Since I even began dating my husband his ex and her family would come into my place of work and stare at me and make rude gestures towards me and basically bring me into tears at least twice a week. and when confronted and told it was on camera they would call HR and tell them that I was rude and a terrible employee.

His ex also took him to court and stated that her reason was, “the kids were not sleeping where they were supposed to be sleeping” because they had moved in with me and him and out of his parents house and she had prior knowledge, she just wanted someone to complain to and backed out of court like she always does.

she continues to slander my husband and myself all over facebook and says things like “the kids are home and happy” “at least they know where HOME is safe” implying that my husband and I are not taking care of the kids. The kids say negative things about her to us and I dont turn around and throw it all over facebook.

She also has talked about bashing my husband and myself in the face with a baseball bat as well as having “three holes” put into my husband.

I dont understand what can motivate someone to act this way, as if the children can only be happy with her and no one else, if I failed to mention she has also remarried so it is not like we are making her feel like we are better.

I think if my husband and myself have the kids 50% of the time and I am the primary care taker that she should try and get along with me, I am always nice to her and take the high road but somedays I just cry because I am only human. I need some advice!

Comment on The Stepmom Stepdaughter Relationship by Meagan

Meagan — Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:55:57 +0000

Hi, my name is Meagan, Im 9 years old. my parents got divorced. And my dad got married,so i live with my dad and stepmother. I hate my stepmother, and my stepmother hates me, and that’s OK with me, I just do not like the way she treats me. She always blames things on me, when i do not do them. And she never does anything with me. And im not afraid to admit, i do have a problem with attitudes but i get it from her. She always gets attitudes and tells me not to, when its pretty hard to do that when i live with her, she always gets them. And most of all, she does not let me have sweets. one day i passed out and woke up in the hospital, the Doctor said it was because i didn’t have enough sugar in my body. all the things make me feel like: like she doesnt want me in her life, like she doesn’t love me, like she would rather have me out of her life, like no one cares about me…And that is why i HATE MY STEPMOTHER.