Comments on: The Stepmom Stepdaughter Relationship http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/ Step By Step Family Success Wed, 01 Feb 2012 03:28:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: online dating sites free http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-4669 online dating sites free Tue, 31 Jan 2012 02:34:47 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-4669 Great job in your article writing, I would like to read more | I waiting to read more about your blog | Nice article on the related topic, please give us more Great job in your article writing, I would like to read more | I waiting to read more about your blog | Nice article on the related topic, please give us more

]]> By: experienced, unfortunately http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-4084 experienced, unfortunately Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:35:36 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-4084 I am a stepmother of 28 years. My husband has two grown children...I get along fine with my stepson, but have had to give up on my stepdaughter. I tried so hard. It has been heartbreaking, but I have found I can still be happy. I am a stepmother of 28 years. My husband has two grown children…I get along fine with my stepson, but have had to give up on my stepdaughter. I tried so hard. It has been heartbreaking, but I have found I can still be happy.

]]> By: Lisa http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-4017 Lisa Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:51:01 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-4017 I know how you all feel! I have been with my husband for almost 10 years now! He has a daughter who was 5 1/2 when we met, and was so damaged then by a drug/alchohol addicted mother who abused her. My step daughter was sassy and rude then, and my husband promised me it would get better- that she needed time. She is about to turn 15 and it has only gotten worse. She is the most self-centered, sassy, pessimistic person I've ever known. We have beent he best parents that we could be for her, and she treats us like crap and then goes to her mother and grandparents and talks trash about us. If she doesnt get her way, she makes our lived miserable- especially mine cause I'm at at-home mom and he goes to work. She doesnt listen, she doesnt do any chores, and when she is asked to all she does is complain and whine. Her real mother abused her from when she was 2 all the way to 12 (it was a long court battle but we finally got her out of there). Her loyalty to her crazy mother is so strong, but she defects how her mother is on us and she takes out all of her anger towards her mother, on me. My husband and I have two children together now (6 1/2 and 3)and I have always treated ALL THREE of them the same. My step daughter treats our 6 year old daughter like crap, barely acknowledges shes here, and then babies our 3 year old son, showing him so much love and kisses, but then turns on all of us. She is making me absolutely miserable. I hate my life with her in it, but I dont want to leave my husband. She has no respect for me, and little for anyone else in her life. Words can not express how crappy I feel because of her. I even had to start taking anti-anxiety meds because of her. I just cant deal with her any longer. What am I supposed to do??? HELP! I know how you all feel! I have been with my husband for almost 10 years now! He has a daughter who was 5 1/2 when we met, and was so damaged then by a drug/alchohol addicted mother who abused her. My step daughter was sassy and rude then, and my husband promised me it would get better- that she needed time. She is about to turn 15 and it has only gotten worse. She is the most self-centered, sassy, pessimistic person I’ve ever known. We have beent he best parents that we could be for her, and she treats us like crap and then goes to her mother and grandparents and talks trash about us. If she doesnt get her way, she makes our lived miserable- especially mine cause I’m at at-home mom and he goes to work. She doesnt listen, she doesnt do any chores, and when she is asked to all she does is complain and whine. Her real mother abused her from when she was 2 all the way to 12 (it was a long court battle but we finally got her out of there). Her loyalty to her crazy mother is so strong, but she defects how her mother is on us and she takes out all of her anger towards her mother, on me. My husband and I have two children together now (6 1/2 and 3)and I have always treated ALL THREE of them the same. My step daughter treats our 6 year old daughter like crap, barely acknowledges shes here, and then babies our 3 year old son, showing him so much love and kisses, but then turns on all of us. She is making me absolutely miserable. I hate my life with her in it, but I dont want to leave my husband. She has no respect for me, and little for anyone else in her life. Words can not express how crappy I feel because of her. I even had to start taking anti-anxiety meds because of her. I just cant deal with her any longer. What am I supposed to do???
HELP!

]]> By: admin http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-3793 admin Sun, 20 Nov 2011 02:22:31 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-3793 Don't feel bad, it can happen. Sometimes we expect to have the same love for our stepchildren as we do for our biological children, and it is generally not possible. My guess is your feeling badly about this has compounded into a negative spiral, which CAN be reversed. Email me on the "contact" tab, and I'll do a free 15 minute consult with you about this. Don’t feel bad, it can happen. Sometimes we expect to have the same love for our stepchildren as we do for our biological children, and it is generally not possible. My guess is your feeling badly about this has compounded into a negative spiral, which CAN be reversed. Email me on the “contact” tab, and I’ll do a free 15 minute consult with you about this.

]]> By: Caught off gaurd http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-3788 Caught off gaurd Sat, 19 Nov 2011 18:12:21 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-3788 Hello I am a mother of two boy and a girl. I started dating after the birth of my daughter. Their father and I did not work out, lets just put it that way. I meet my husband when my daughter was a just 4 months. He has a daughter as well whoes mother died in a car accident when she was only 5 months old. He and i dated for over a year before we decided to move in together. After moving in together is when I started to realize that I cannont stand his daughter! I care for her well being but would much rather her not be around. She was 3 at the time, I thought maybe it was her age and she would grow out of it but she is 5, her father and I are married,and my feelings toward her seems to be getting worse.. I feel so guilty for my feelings and wonder why I feel this way. My kids are my pride and joy and my husband seems to love them jus as he loves his own. It jus comes so natural to him. I feel so annoyed by her, I geel like she is sneaky and I feel like theres nothimg I can do to change it. My husband and I have had talks about how I am harder on her than the other two and I have been trying to be more conscience of my actions. I also feel like she tries me. Like she does things behind my back right after I ask her not to! Im not sure what to do if anything. I love my husband and have no plans on leaving him but I do not want to carry these feelings on nor do I want her to hate me when she gets older. Im the only mom she has and I really want to be the best. Please give me some advice... Hello I am a mother of two boy and a girl. I started dating after the birth of my daughter. Their father and I did not work out, lets just put it that way. I meet my husband when my daughter was a just 4 months. He has a daughter as well whoes mother died in a car accident when she was only 5 months old. He and i dated for over a year before we decided to move in together. After moving in together is when I started to realize that I cannont stand his daughter! I care for her well being but would much rather her not be around. She was 3 at the time, I thought maybe it was her age and she would grow out of it but she is 5, her father and I are married,and my feelings toward her seems to be getting worse.. I feel so guilty for my feelings and wonder why I feel this way. My kids are my pride and joy and my husband seems to love them jus as he loves his own. It jus comes so natural to him. I feel so annoyed by her, I geel like she is sneaky and I feel like theres nothimg I can do to change it. My husband and I have had talks about how I am harder on her than the other two and I have been trying to be more conscience of my actions. I also feel like she tries me. Like she does things behind my back right after I ask her not to! Im not sure what to do if anything. I love my husband and have no plans on leaving him but I do not want to carry these feelings on nor do I want her to hate me when she gets older. Im the only mom she has and I really want to be the best. Please give me some advice…

]]> By: Lonely_roses http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-3673 Lonely_roses Mon, 14 Nov 2011 13:10:35 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-3673 Hi. I've been married for four years now and have struggle with my life as a step mom. My husband and I got married when I was 21 years old and his daughter was 15 years old that time. Now I'm 25 and she's 18 but she still is cold to me. I know that I am way too young for my husband but I do believe that age doesn't matter if u really love eAch other. His daughter is very spoiled, she wants everything on her way. She never help in the household chores and everything from her laundry to dishes- is done by her father. And so, when I came in to the family I had to tackle all those responsibilities since my husband is working and I am a housewife and soon to be a house mom. She always brought friends over and eat but the thing that I dont like is they don't clean up their mess and so I talked to my husband about it that she is old enough to have a chore in the house and my husband agreed and talked to his daughter but his daughter cried and said "you don't love me anymore!". This problem has been going on for years now and I am sick of it. My husband do give her advice about our situation but he just can't take it when his daughter starts crying for no reason. Everytime he talks to her, his daughter is always right for him. Year ago we moved to another city and his daughter didnt come with us since she doesnt wanna leave friends from our town. But our relationship became worst since she starts texting me that she's gonna find a way to break us up. She always told me that I stole her dad from her. If only I don't have a baby from my husband right now, no matter how much I love him I would've probably left him already since I am not happy with my life anymore. I am stressed out and haven't laughed in a long time. Please advice me what to do. Thanks Lonely_roses Hi. I’ve been married for four years now and have struggle with my life as a step mom. My husband and I got married when I was 21 years old and his daughter was 15 years old that time. Now I’m 25 and she’s 18 but she still is cold to me. I know that I am way too young for my husband but I do believe that age doesn’t matter if u really love eAch other. His daughter is very spoiled, she wants everything on her way. She never help in the household chores and everything from her laundry to dishes- is done by her father. And so, when I came in to the family I had to tackle all those responsibilities since my husband is working and I am a housewife and soon to be a house mom. She always brought friends over and eat but the thing that I dont like is they don’t clean up their mess and so I talked to my husband about it that she is old enough to have a chore in the house and my husband agreed and talked to his daughter but his daughter cried and said “you don’t love me anymore!”.

This problem has been going on for years now and I am sick of it. My husband do give her advice about our situation but he just can’t take it when his daughter starts crying for no reason. Everytime he talks to her, his daughter is always right for him.

Year ago we moved to another city and his daughter didnt come with us since she doesnt wanna leave friends from our town. But our relationship became worst since she starts texting me that she’s gonna find a way to break us up. She always told me that I stole her dad from her. If only I don’t have a baby from my husband right now, no matter how much I love him I would’ve probably left him already since I am not happy with my life anymore. I am stressed out and haven’t laughed in a long time. Please advice me what to do. Thanks

Lonely_roses

]]> By: Bitter-stepchild http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-3270 Bitter-stepchild Fri, 28 Oct 2011 08:05:15 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-3270 I'm 21 years old. I have a very tight relationship with my mother, and it kills me everytime I have to have decisions made by stepmother because my father never does anything without her ok. I get that they are married, and I respect that they need to make decisions together, but what I don't respect is them making decisions, especially her, with my mother not even being in on it. Also, I was the girl who lived with my father after the divorce, but I did it because I didn't want him to be alone, not because I could manipulate him. Once we moved in with my stepmother my father and I fought everyday and to this day I feel like I am not good enough anymore because he has her. I also feel like I can never trust her with secrets or be normal around her because the fact remains, she is my fathers wife first, and it's only with my own mother that my brother and I will come first. To my father, and I understand this, she will always come first I’m 21 years old. I have a very tight relationship with my mother, and it kills me everytime I have to have decisions made by stepmother because my father never does anything without her ok. I get that they are married, and I respect that they need to make decisions together, but what I don’t respect is them making decisions, especially her, with my mother not even being in on it. Also, I was the girl who lived with my father after the divorce, but I did it because I didn’t want him to be alone, not because I could manipulate him. Once we moved in with my stepmother my father and I fought everyday and to this day I feel like I am not good enough anymore because he has her. I also feel like I can never trust her with secrets or be normal around her because the fact remains, she is my fathers wife first, and it’s only with my own mother that my brother and I will come first. To my father, and I understand this, she will always come first

]]> By: admin http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-2484 admin Mon, 26 Sep 2011 19:22:11 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-2484 It seems to me that there can be nothing more difficult than a 15-yr old daughter - except for a 15-year old stepdaughter! I was ready to tear my hair out at that stage. Just wanted to let you know that she is now a delightful 25-yr old, and we have a wonderful relationship. So there is hope! It definitely seems to me that you and your husband need to get on the same page if this is to work, and that her behavior and her issues regarding her mom's death need to be addressed. Please let me know if you would like a 1-1 session... I hope you don't throw in the towel in this admittedly very difficult stage! It seems to me that there can be nothing more difficult than a 15-yr old daughter – except for a 15-year old stepdaughter! I was ready to tear my hair out at that stage. Just wanted to let you know that she is now a delightful 25-yr old, and we have a wonderful relationship. So there is hope! It definitely seems to me that you and your husband need to get on the same page if this is to work, and that her behavior and her issues regarding her mom’s death need to be addressed. Please let me know if you would like a 1-1 session… I hope you don’t throw in the towel in this admittedly very difficult stage!

]]> By: End of my rope Stepmother http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-2473 End of my rope Stepmother Mon, 26 Sep 2011 14:19:47 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-2473 I am at the end of my rope. My 15 year old step daughter is going to cause me to divorce or separate from my husband. I can no longer deal with her, her attitude, her cockiness, her fresh mouth, and do what I want attitude. My husband never disciplines her NEVER. I do and look like the evil witch. My 17 year old daughter hates the way she acts also so does my husband (her father) at times. I made so many sacrifices for her the first three years and altered my life the next two years and I cant spend the next three years bending my life for her anymore. I have never seen a child act the way she does. She tries to boss my husband around, manipulates my husband, and acts in such an inappropriate manner; always talking about her breast and butt! She thinks she is sexy at 15. I tried to explain to her that there is nothing sexy about a 15 year old little girl. Her mother died earlier this year. They were estranged for almost 2 years prior to her death. Her own mother said she is rude and disrespectful. Singed, End of my rope! I am at the end of my rope. My 15 year old step daughter is going to cause me to divorce or separate from my husband. I can no longer deal with her, her attitude, her cockiness, her fresh mouth, and do what I want attitude. My husband never disciplines her NEVER. I do and look like the evil witch. My 17 year old daughter hates the way she acts also so does my husband (her father) at times. I made so many sacrifices for her the first three years and altered my life the next two years and I cant spend the next three years bending my life for her anymore.

I have never seen a child act the way she does. She tries to boss my husband around, manipulates my husband, and acts in such an inappropriate manner; always talking about her breast and butt! She thinks she is sexy at 15. I tried to explain to her that there is nothing sexy about a 15 year old little girl.

Her mother died earlier this year. They were estranged for almost 2 years prior to her death. Her own mother said she is rude and disrespectful.

Singed,

End of my rope!

]]> By: Ellen http://stepmomsos.com/the-stepmom-stepdaughter-relationship/2010/03/comment-page-1/#comment-2255 Ellen Sun, 18 Sep 2011 17:03:48 +0000 http://stepmomsos.com/?p=360#comment-2255 Our blended family of 6 (His - oldest daughter, middle son, youngest daughter Mine Oldest son, younger two twin sons) was doing okay - not great but in the process of blending over the first 3 years until his ex (who had left the family and moved away when the youngest was 9)moved back and re-entered the oldest daughter's life because she was jobless and homeless. She (the ex) succeeded in regaining her daughter's sympathy (and ultimately that of the other two)by totally fabricating a tale that my husband and I had been seeing each other before she left town...blah blah blah...so I became the bad guy. I didn't even meet him until after we were divorced! Anyway, it has caused him great pain because on Christmas 2007 the two girls 'ambushed' us at his mother's house in front of the whole family accusing me of 'doing evil things to their family'. My husband is wonderful and has supported me completely because of course he knows the truth and he recognizes who is the source of this ridiculous story...we never thought it would now be almost 4 years later and neither of the daughters will have anything to do with us as long as he and I are together. I grew up with a wonderful stepmother...she is now 81 and still close to me even though my father passed away many years ago...I know it doesn't have to be like this and I always feel so responsible as my husband has now never seen his grandson who is 2 1/2. Our blended family of 6 (His – oldest daughter, middle son, youngest daughter Mine Oldest son, younger two twin sons) was doing okay – not great but in the process of blending over the first 3 years until his ex (who had left the family and moved away when the youngest was 9)moved back and re-entered the oldest daughter’s life because she was jobless and homeless. She (the ex) succeeded in regaining her daughter’s sympathy (and ultimately that of the other two)by totally fabricating a tale that my husband and I had been seeing each other before she left town…blah blah blah…so I became the bad guy. I didn’t even meet him until after we were divorced! Anyway, it has caused him great pain because on Christmas 2007 the two girls ‘ambushed’ us at his mother’s house in front of the whole family accusing me of ‘doing evil things to their family’. My husband is wonderful and has supported me completely because of course he knows the truth and he recognizes who is the source of this ridiculous story…we never thought it would now be almost 4 years later and neither of the daughters will have anything to do with us as long as he and I are together.
I grew up with a wonderful stepmother…she is now 81 and still close to me even though my father passed away many years ago…I know it doesn’t have to be like this and I always feel so responsible as my husband has now never seen his grandson who is 2 1/2.

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