Wonderful Forum for Stepmoms – You Can Still Learn from It
As I am publishing this post, the Ask the Experts Forum in Stepmom Magazine’s Facebook Fan Page is just concluding. It was really valuable, as we heard from stepmoms with difficulties in many areas, and the experts gave such wise and helpful counsel. If you missed it, you can still learn and get a lot of benefit from reading the posts and the comments made by several highly regarded experts in the field of stepfamilies:
Joan Sarin, M.S. (yours truly)
Wednesday Martin, author of Stepmonster
Susan Wisdom, MFC, author of Stepcoupling
Mary Kelly Williams, M.A. Therapist and Stepfamily Coach
Susan Swanson, LCSW, Therapist and Stepfamily Center Founder
Jennifer Newcomb Marine, author of No One’s the Bitch
I really enjoyed all the interaction. Go to Stepmom Magazine’s Facebook Page for the full scoop!
Tomorrow I’ll be telling more about our new Facebook Page, Stepfamily SOS and what we intend to do there for you! Lots of new things ahead, and thanks to Morgan for keeping up the posts today on the FB Groups that might benefit from this forum…
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Hi
I am a newbie here.
Glad to find this forum…as what I am looking for
Hey
Really glad to get into this forum
It’s what I am looking for.
Hope to know more member here.
Hopefully I can get some advice from this forum. My stepdaughter is 40, was 25 when we got married, and just today got screamed at when we took her birthday gift to her. She said I was a devil and to get out of her house; she hated me. This has happened 4 or 5 times in the 15 years. It ruined the day and really puts a damper on the holday season. I have 4 grown children and together my husband and I have 15 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.
It breaks my heart and her dad’s heart and I always feel like the bad guy. His grandchildren don’t even come by to see us.
I am really getting tired of it.
Can someone please advise me as I’m at my wit’s end. My husband and I have been living overseas for two years and have less than one year to go until we return home. In this time, we have kept in close contact with both our daughters (his is 25; mine is 32), visited regularly and had them visit us. His daughter is currently staying with us for a vacation. I have a reasonable relationship with her but it has never been close. To be honest: I find her pretty overpowering, plus she is very close to her Dad and those two together seem to suck the oxygen out of the room sometimes. My husband just announced this morning that his daughter has quit her job and wants to come and stay with us here. This news has absolutely floored me. I feel a mixture of guilt, resentment, sadness – you name it! I am fond of her but this is my home with my husband and I honestly do not wish to share it. I know he is angry with me over this because he utterly adores her (as fathers should) and loves being with her all the time. I feel at this stage that rather than disappoint everyone I should just return home and leave them to it. I seriously see this as a best option. I am so downhearted about this and I don’t want to be caste as the wicked stepmother who is keeping dad from his daughter. Please can someone help me with this?
Hey Eliza! My adult step-daughter moved in with us, too. I wasn’t sure if it would work out at all… I’m still not, sadly. I’m a sensitive person, a complete wuss, really. I don’t know your circumstances exactly, but I feel I can always advise going with your gut feeling. And chances are, if you’re already feeling this much doubt, it isn’t right for you. How about a cute studio apartment nearby or in an adjoining town? If you’re going to financially support her by allowing her to live in your home, maybe it’s just as easy to put up partial rent funds and keep your privacy. It’s very difficult to maintain the borders you are comfortable living in when a new person is thrust into your life! Politely, that is. I’d be happy to talk more about this with you, even if there’s nothing much to say except ‘I know what you’re going through!’ Stay tough and stand your ground. And try to TALK to your husband about your real anxieties and fears about this, and make sure your opinion is respected.
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What the Experts say
"You offer skills not only for adjusting to, but for soaring in the stepcouple journey. Thank you on behalf of confused and struggling stepcouples!"
Susan Wisdom, LPC,Author of Stepcoupling
"The Stepfamily Center of Los Angeles endorses the StepMom SOS course as a necessity for anyone in stepfamily life."
Susan Davis-Swanson, LCSW, Founder and President
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