Comments on: Your Ex-Husband’s Wife: The Stepmom

By: pixie

pixie — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:40:17 +0000

I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex – who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect xxx

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:42:12 +0000

And it would be nice to read an article that isn’t so one-sided.

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:38:51 +0000

Some good advice for both sides. Badmouthing in particular hurts the kids and can leave the parent in the position of having to constantly defend themselves. I would get along better with my kids’ step mom if she didn’t go out in public and tell total strangers that SHE is their mom and if she would let my ex co-parent instead of taking things over. It shouldn’t be about control or being right or interferring when its not that person’s place to do so. It should be about what is best for the kids, and when you can’t have an adult conversation with someone and he uses his wife as a “go between” its difficult to co-parent with an ex like that. It would have been nice to read specific advice for both sides on boundaries and how not to overstep them. I’m sure this happens all the time; but there is really no support out there.

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 03:05:10 +0000

It wouldn’t hurt for this article to have given some education to step moms about respecting boundaries, not overstepping on discipline issues, not trying to replace the mother, and letting her husband co-parent with his ex wife rather than feeling she has to be in control of something that frankly isn’t any of her business.

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 02:57:11 +0000

My kids’ step mom IS the problem. She IS the bi%ch. She constantly over steps and treats my daughter better than my son. She offered to take the kids school shopping; spent $200 on my daughter and $20 on my son because he was sick and refused to go with her when SHE wanted to take him. She recently convinced my ex to include my daughter in holiday plans, but left out my son; who is now hurt and disapointed that he will have to miss out on a holidy trip to his dad’s family’s house because they refuse to wait till he gets out of school to leave for the 10 hour trip. I refuse to let her treat my child this way. She also oversteps in terms of discipline. She constantly treats my son bad to “teach him a lesson” when disciplining the kids is none of her business. I appreciate this article, but obviously it doesn’t apply to MY situation.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:21:00 +0000

Again, a fabulous post! I am having terrible trouble with my husbands ex on so many levels. All that makes her unhappy has been attributed simply to my presence. It’s so sad to see what is happening to my stepson in the process. Thankfully, my husband and I are very much on the same page. Unfortunately, the legal system seems to always be a part of our life and is constantly looming on the horizon. I will look for more information on this website and will definitely read the book mentioned in the previous posts. I saw those women on Dr. Phil and have always wished for a better relationship with my “step wife” if you will. I have been a step mother before and never had this problem. As a matter of fact, I am still close with my former step children and their mom 15 years later!! They are healthy and happy adults and she attributes that to the fact that they were blessed to have four “big people” who loved them and cheered them on and picked them up when things weren’t going well. We were the village and all respected and embraced what the other had to bring to the table. In my current situation, mom treats this little guy as though he is merely a possession. He is old enough now to start to question her actions and it is sad to watch.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 14:59:03 +0000

I would like to hear more about how to deal with my husband not being on a united front with me (his current wife) oppossed to going with what the X says for lack of causing waves and upsetting her… but in the end he and I are fighting.
I feel 2nd in my own marriage.

By: Mommyminnie

Mommyminnie — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 14:33:37 +0000

Lisa, have your husband communicate these issues with the school councilor, se. Up a meeting and explain the situation. (assuming your husband has joint legal custody)

As for me I am buying the book. The biomom in my situation would probably never take it. But when I’m finished with it, I will offer it to her.

By: lisa

lisa — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 16:46:37 +0000

I’m dealing with my husband’s ex-wife now. She would never accept that book to read however it is given or presented. She delights in attempting to make my relationship with my step-daughter miserable. I say attempt because it doesn’t work to the extent that she gets me to engage, but I hate to see what it is doing to her own daughter who is eight. It’s really sad. I wanted to get my step-daughter in counseling so she’ll have a neutral party to talk to but her mom won’t let her. What can I do to save my step-daughters mental health? I talk to her and provide an excellent role model but her struggle is…….her mom won’t let her love me or she’ll be in trouble to put it in her own words. She’s not even allowed to say my name at her mom’s house. Even worse, my step-daughter admits to giving her mom false information about our care for her in an effort to seek approval from her mother. Then the mother lashes out as us. This is a daily occurrence. I need to find a solution for this little girl.

By: Ksenia

Ksenia — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 17:27:59 +0000

This is just amazing post! It’s showing so true biological mother behavior!